Rainbow Musical

Last night i had a dream that i had to play a really important song for bavita on my grandmas old organ, so i started playing this freaky old accordian sounding circus song, and then i started singing along and made all these fabulous lyrics, and everything turned into a giant musical.

it was FABULOUS.

then i think we went through a worm hole and ended up in this other dimension that was all rainbows and there was a giant book there that told the future.

To all of the boys in my life.

Dear boy 1.
-you are so very hot.
-please give me your number.
-you are the only reason i havent quit that firey hell of a job
-your eyes+smile+eyebrows = gorgeous.
-My name is Melody. remember it, for its the name of the woman you will marry.

Dear boy 2.5
-You+Me = it will never work.
-let it go.

Dear boy 2.
-fuck you.
-no seriously, fuck you.
-like, i thought you were so groovy. and you had a chance to overcome boy 3. that takes a lot.
-also, i loved your pants,
-also, your penis felt sphereical. is that supposed to happen? was it just the pants?
-if that was a testicle, why did you make me grab it?
-i was thinking about pigs running into pens while we made out. i dont understand either.
-im a lot cuter when im not high, but you will never know.
-GOD DAMN you are tall.
-i hope to see you at an upcoming festival, and make you desire the hell out of me.
-led zeppelin is still my favorite band.

Dear boy 3.
-there is so much ive written about you, so i will make this brief.
-my love for you isnt a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. i dont care if you think it is, it isnt.
-you are possibly one of the most awesome humans i know.
-you are a god damnned confusing mother effer.

Dear boy 4.
-you frighten me, in a strange way.
-i like how dangerous you are for me.
-i think youre totally awesome. maybe a little try-hard-ish though.
-you dont need to worry what ill think about you. im a crazy videogame loving hippie.
-you actually know how to make me feel good, so thank you. ;)
-we aren't dating, but i like the current situation. lets keep it.

Dear boy 5.
-no, i dont want to bone you. (and not even because if my lack of a boner.)
-if i did, i would be so ashamed of myself and my standards.
-you are VERY annoying, so please calm yourself.
-do not jizz everytime i flirt with you. i am a flirt, so i flirt subconsiously.
-there is a reason why im always gone.

Dear boy 6.
-be funny, be charming, be dorky, be clever, be romantic.
- go on adventures with me.
-play video games with me.
-understand the meaning of love. (unconditional)
-be good at conversing and deep talking.
-come, lets live in a cottage in the forest forever, and live off fire, weed, music, love and veggies.

I am tired of being a sperm dumpster, or so men seem to think.
im sick of being not the main character, or even the best friend, but the other friend.
you know, that one crazy friend that has the messed up lack of a love life and is always doing stupid things?
im tired of fighting everything. im tired of being confused.
im tired of being alone.
ALL THE TIME.
im so lonely.
i dont have parents to cheer me up, or a sister to cry at.
or a boyfriend to make me feel like im worth more than a bottle of vodka.
i swear if another shady man calls me, texts me or messages me saying "hey beautiful. wanna hang out tonight?" i am going to rip the testicles off every man created.
fuck you Vernon.
fuck you and your pathetic waste of human flesh.
your teenage "trendy-ness"
your men.
your women.
You Are Repulsive.

And the moment i decide, "eh, screw men. i dont want one right now."
they swarm me.
GAWLLL.
but i wont give in.
i dont need ANY MAN.
and besides, with all this crazy shit going on, who has time anyways?

Driving

sometimes when im driving

i shut my eyes for a little longer than i should.

just to feel the awesome rush.

its so EXILIRATING.

...as long as i dont kill anyone.

augh, taco del mar.

throwing up all of yesterdays food is pobaly the worst thing ever.
especially when its your alarm clock.

not having an orgasm for no reason.

It's possibly the worst feeling in the world,

because this is when you know that something is terribly wrong.