It was just like Thumbalina.
Monday, February 16, 2009
A summary of the best novel ever written.
In Pirates of Desire, the promise of pirate lore kindles the dreams of our strong-willed heroine, Lady Olivia McGinn, as she and her best friend Melody scheme for high seas adventure.
But being captured by the notorious pirate captain, Captain Bigpenis Longandhard., is as fiery and unforgiving as the seas themselves. Longandhard., also known as 'Sea Wolf', is a handsome rogue and Lady Olivia ultimately loses her heart to this rugged pirate.
But being captured by the notorious pirate captain, Captain Bigpenis Longandhard., is as fiery and unforgiving as the seas themselves. Longandhard., also known as 'Sea Wolf', is a handsome rogue and Lady Olivia ultimately loses her heart to this rugged pirate.
Okay, so this makes me feel...perverted.
but its still FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY. HAHAHAHA.
They stared at each other for a long while, their eyes saying the words they dared not speak. The air was thick with the potent energy of lovers discovering each other for the first time. Without breaking contact, Captain Bigpenis leaned back on his pillows and held out a strong hand, inviting and welcoming Olivia to his bed. As if in a waking dream, Olivia took his hand and stood beside the bed, her brown eyes never leaving his. Squeezing his hand gently, she let it fall and slowly started to remove her chemise, her body swaying with the sea as it fell away, feeling the cool sea breeze seductively kiss her skin. His heart seemed to beat outside his body as Captain Bigpenis watched her undress in the moonlight. As each piece of cloth fell and he drank in more of her curvaceous, womanly form, he wondered if a man could ever tire of such a sight. Languidly, she removed the remainder of her undergarments and stood beside his bed, fully exposed and vulnerable, but with a quiet strength that caused Captain Bigpenis to hold his breath. Slowly and gracefully, she climbed onto his bed, running her hands across his naked chest, relishing the feel of his muscular form beneath her fingers. Pressing her body into his, . . .
They stared at each other for a long while, their eyes saying the words they dared not speak. The air was thick with the potent energy of lovers discovering each other for the first time. Without breaking contact, Captain Bigpenis leaned back on his pillows and held out a strong hand, inviting and welcoming Olivia to his bed. As if in a waking dream, Olivia took his hand and stood beside the bed, her brown eyes never leaving his. Squeezing his hand gently, she let it fall and slowly started to remove her chemise, her body swaying with the sea as it fell away, feeling the cool sea breeze seductively kiss her skin. His heart seemed to beat outside his body as Captain Bigpenis watched her undress in the moonlight. As each piece of cloth fell and he drank in more of her curvaceous, womanly form, he wondered if a man could ever tire of such a sight. Languidly, she removed the remainder of her undergarments and stood beside his bed, fully exposed and vulnerable, but with a quiet strength that caused Captain Bigpenis to hold his breath. Slowly and gracefully, she climbed onto his bed, running her hands across his naked chest, relishing the feel of his muscular form beneath her fingers. Pressing her body into his, . . .
BAHAHAHAHAHA.
Chapter...oh i dont know. jeeze this thing is hard to follow.
. . Olivia walked to the castle window and looked off in the distance to the harbor, brown eyes bright with anticipation. Alfie rose from in front of the fireplace, and giving a big stretch, wandered over to Olivia, eager for an affectionate back-rub. “Come on, tell me every detail,” Melody begged. “And I’ll comb out the tag-alongs and shrubbery from your hair! How on earth did you end up with pieces of bramble bush stuck in that light brown mop of yours and what’s that got to do with pirates?” Alfie turned in circles, giving Olivia a better opportunity to find that special spot to rub, just between the shoulder blades. Chuckling, Olivia turned and pointed to the harbor in the distance. “See that ship at the very end of the docks – the one with no sails; listing badly to one side? Well, that’s it.” “A real pirate ship,” Melody sighed romantically. Olivia glanced toward her bedside table where she kept a folded piece of parchment containing an etching of Captain Bigpenis Longandhard., the famous pirate Sea Wolf, wanted by authorities on two continents. “Yes, a real pirate ship, but not the pirate ship. It’s not the Corazon de Oro,” said Olivia, excitement evident in her voice...
. . Olivia walked to the castle window and looked off in the distance to the harbor, brown eyes bright with anticipation. Alfie rose from in front of the fireplace, and giving a big stretch, wandered over to Olivia, eager for an affectionate back-rub. “Come on, tell me every detail,” Melody begged. “And I’ll comb out the tag-alongs and shrubbery from your hair! How on earth did you end up with pieces of bramble bush stuck in that light brown mop of yours and what’s that got to do with pirates?” Alfie turned in circles, giving Olivia a better opportunity to find that special spot to rub, just between the shoulder blades. Chuckling, Olivia turned and pointed to the harbor in the distance. “See that ship at the very end of the docks – the one with no sails; listing badly to one side? Well, that’s it.” “A real pirate ship,” Melody sighed romantically. Olivia glanced toward her bedside table where she kept a folded piece of parchment containing an etching of Captain Bigpenis Longandhard., the famous pirate Sea Wolf, wanted by authorities on two continents. “Yes, a real pirate ship, but not the pirate ship. It’s not the Corazon de Oro,” said Olivia, excitement evident in her voice...
http://www.bookbyyou.com
Chapter one of my novel. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA everyone needs to go to this website.
. . . Olivia slapped the coin from his outstretched hand, sending it flying into the shrubbery. “We don’t want your blood money!” Captain Bigpenis sighed, his eyes narrowing, then he suddenly reached out and grabbed Olivia by her bodice string that, unbeknownst to her, had become untied and hung loosely from her dress. The lace tightened immediately as he pulled her towards him like a dog on a tether. Olivia winced with surprise and embarrassment, her brown eyes ablaze. He leaned close to her, breathing softly in her ear, making Olivia almost lose her balance and certainly some sense. He paused just long enough to catch her off guard in anticipation, when he said, “You might want to keep the girls tied up,” and he tightened the lace and tied a knot. Her face flushed and she slapped him hard on the cheek. Captain Bigpenis grabbed her by her light brown hair and planted a kiss on her lips, long and sensual. When he released his grip, she was reeling, wild eyed as a scurvy dog.
“Take them away!” he ordered with a wave of his hand. The buccaneer escorts grabbed the women’s wrists and roughly pulled them towards the path. Olivia turned her head and caught the captain’s eye. “Now I know why they call you Sea Wolf. I think you are despicable!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. She quickly looked to Melody, a look of terror in her eyes as they were dragged down the pathway. Captain Bigpenis smiled, as he heard his crew laughing from afar; this was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. If circumstances were different, he would have asked her to join him. But he hadn’t even found out her name…
. . . Olivia slapped the coin from his outstretched hand, sending it flying into the shrubbery. “We don’t want your blood money!” Captain Bigpenis sighed, his eyes narrowing, then he suddenly reached out and grabbed Olivia by her bodice string that, unbeknownst to her, had become untied and hung loosely from her dress. The lace tightened immediately as he pulled her towards him like a dog on a tether. Olivia winced with surprise and embarrassment, her brown eyes ablaze. He leaned close to her, breathing softly in her ear, making Olivia almost lose her balance and certainly some sense. He paused just long enough to catch her off guard in anticipation, when he said, “You might want to keep the girls tied up,” and he tightened the lace and tied a knot. Her face flushed and she slapped him hard on the cheek. Captain Bigpenis grabbed her by her light brown hair and planted a kiss on her lips, long and sensual. When he released his grip, she was reeling, wild eyed as a scurvy dog.
“Take them away!” he ordered with a wave of his hand. The buccaneer escorts grabbed the women’s wrists and roughly pulled them towards the path. Olivia turned her head and caught the captain’s eye. “Now I know why they call you Sea Wolf. I think you are despicable!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. She quickly looked to Melody, a look of terror in her eyes as they were dragged down the pathway. Captain Bigpenis smiled, as he heard his crew laughing from afar; this was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. If circumstances were different, he would have asked her to join him. But he hadn’t even found out her name…
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Musicals.
Across The Universe
Aladdin
August Rush
Beauty and the Beast
Cats
Cinderella
Chicago
Enchanted
Fame
Grease
Guys and Dolls
Hair
Hairspray
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Hercules
Hunchback of Notre Dame
Jesus Christ, Superstar
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Leader of the Pack
Lion King
Little Mermaid
Little Shop of Horrors
Mamma Mia!
Mary Poppins
Moulin Rouge
Mulan
Nightmare Before Christmas
O' Brother, Where Art Thou?
Once
Pajama Game
Phantom of the Opera
Pirates of Penzance
The Producers
Queen of the Damned
Robin Hood
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Sound of Music
Spring Awakening
Swan Princess
Sweeney Todd, Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tenacious D: and the Pick of Destiny
Walk Hard : The Dewey Cox Story
West Side Story
The Wiz
Wicked
Xanadu
Yentl
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