I am tired of being a sperm dumpster, or so men seem to think.
im sick of being not the main character, or even the best friend, but the other friend.
you know, that one crazy friend that has the messed up lack of a love life and is always doing stupid things?
im tired of fighting everything. im tired of being confused.
im tired of being alone.
ALL THE TIME.
im so lonely.
i dont have parents to cheer me up, or a sister to cry at.
or a boyfriend to make me feel like im worth more than a bottle of vodka.
i swear if another shady man calls me, texts me or messages me saying "hey beautiful. wanna hang out tonight?" i am going to rip the testicles off every man created.
fuck you Vernon.
fuck you and your pathetic waste of human flesh.
your teenage "trendy-ness"
your men.
your women.
You Are Repulsive.

And the moment i decide, "eh, screw men. i dont want one right now."
they swarm me.
GAWLLL.
but i wont give in.
i dont need ANY MAN.
and besides, with all this crazy shit going on, who has time anyways?

Driving

sometimes when im driving

i shut my eyes for a little longer than i should.

just to feel the awesome rush.

its so EXILIRATING.

...as long as i dont kill anyone.

augh, taco del mar.

throwing up all of yesterdays food is pobaly the worst thing ever.
especially when its your alarm clock.

not having an orgasm for no reason.

It's possibly the worst feeling in the world,

because this is when you know that something is terribly wrong.

I love you, Gwen.

Sappy pathetic little me
That was the girl I used to be
You had me on my knees

I'd trade you places any day
I'd never thought you could be that way
But you looked like me on sunday

Oh you came in with the breeze
On sunday morning
You sure have changed since yesterday
Without any warning
I thought I knew you (whoa)
I thought I knew you (whoa)
I thought I knew you well... so well

You're trying my shoes on for a change
They look so good but fit so strange
Out of fashion, so I can't complain

Oh you came in with the breeze
On sunday morning
You sure have changed since yesterday
Without any warning
I thought I knew you (whoa)
I thought I knew you (whoa)
I thought I knew you well... so well

I know who I am, but who are you?
You're not looking like you used to
You're on the other side of the mirror
So nothing's looking quite as clear
Thank you for turning on the lights
Thank you, now you're the parasite
I didn't think you had it in you
And now you're looking like I used to!

You came in with the breeze
On sunday morning
You sure have changed since yesterday
Without any warning
And you want me badly
'cause you cannot have me
I thought I knew you (whoa)
But I've got a new view (whoa)
I thought I knew you so well... oh well

Ooh on sunday morning
Without a warning
Sunday morning
I thought I knew you
Sunday morning
Ooh you want me badly
Cannot have me
Sunday morning
Sunday morning
Sunday morning

Merry Happy

Watching me like you never watched no one
dont tell me that you didnt try and check out my bum
cause i know that you did cause your friend told me that you liked it
gave me those pearls and i thought they were ugly
don't you try and tell me that you never loved me,
i know that you did cause you said it and you wrote it down

dancing at discos
eating cheese on toast
yeah you made me merry
made me very very happy
but you obviously, you didnt want to stick around
so i learnt from you

can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset on my own

sitting in restaurants
thought we were so grown up
but i know now that we were not the people that we turned out to be
chatting on the phone cant take back those hours
but i wont regret cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be

dancing at discos
eating cheese on toast
yeah you made me merry made me very very happy
but you obviously, you didnt want to stick around
So i learnt from you

i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset on my own

YOU ARE DUMB.

had you told the truth all along,
A) My hopes would not have been dashed so harshly.
B) My life would have been easier.
C) I would have never fucked you again.

as my father told me, "He doesn't care that you are hurt. He cares that its his fault he hurts you, and dosnet like that it makes him feel bad."
good going, asshole.

Yes, ive always been a strange one.

Journals. Thats what i had millions of. different sizes, shapes, colors, textures, but they were all journals. and in each journal, i had hundreds of stories, poems and songs. I had a butterfly one that contained all of my darkest stories. sometimes in the stories, the protagonists were being tortured and later killed because of their differences. A girl with red hair was forced to work in a brothel because of her Irish roots. People raided her Irish town and kidnapped all of the young girls and forced them into slavery. Nobody saved her, and she died from having her pelivs crushed. She bled to death. I must have been eight at the time i wrote that. I had always been a different kind of person. In kindergarden i got really pissed off when the substititute teacher i had a crush on started calling Karmen Shum "princess". i screamed at him one day, "She cant be a princess, She's Chinese!" of course, now i know better. i have all of these vivid memories coming at me at once. a girl named Cheyanne had a plastic false fishtank on her purple sweater that i was so jealous of. i used to play in the kitchen in the kindergarden class. i liked to play family the best, and i usually had a husband. I played with fuzzy felt food, and made delious meals that i later found out were not actually edible. Boys used to chase me with wooden tractors, and i would cry and pee on the carpet in fear. that stain in the Alexis Park library? oohyeah, that was me. i had to wear the teachers bathing suit for the rest of the day because i had peed all over my clothes. i had my first kiss from a boy named Bj, and afterwords he threw up on my foot. after that my lust was uncontainable. i would force boys to kiss me on the bus, and they would pull the emergency lever thing on the windows to freak me out so i would stop.
i had to deal with being hit with rakes, being hit with rocks, and being beaten up by a gaggle of boys just because i would sometimes chase them behind the portables to kiss them.
I remember once when i was being hit by rocks, a boy came and saved me. he chased them all away, and then he kissed me on the cheek. I told him he was my Knight in shining armour. He moved the next year. My list of crushes were long: Micheal Murrah, Tyler Selders, Jesse ?, Edwin Cruz, Lukas Rusak and the list goes on and on. Then in grade 5, i met my first love.
A.J Shook. I know the kid now, he's a totally grub. but back then he was so handsome. one night when we were having a campout, we slept right beside each other and cuddled all night. We danced together at the dance once, and he put his hand on my back. also, he used to chase me around the trees. and he threw his shoe at me. i knew i was in love, and i thought i was going to marry him. These feelings continued for him up to grade 8. and that was just the start of my tragically helpless-hopeless romantic childhood.

whom?

i will never be you. i will never be someone else. im afraid that all i can offer to anyone is myself. myself, me, Melody. a girl wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a dream wrapped in icy, watery blue. i have so many layers, i make onions jealous. i have emotions. complex feels and emotions maybe too difficult for even me to understand. There are alot of things i cant do in life, and i know that. sometimes i can be insensitive and judging. but i know that somewhere within all of my skin and blood and tissue and organs and bone, there is the ability to love. i know its there. but at times i feel that it will remain somewhere isnide of me, and it will never find its way out.
at times i believe it has peeked out from my shell, but i always second guess myself.
i feel that in my life everything i do is for some selfish "completley-melody" underlaying reason.

when i was younger, i would watch disney RELIGIOUSLY. Ariel and Eric, Belle and the Beast, Alladin and Jasmine, Phillip and Aroura, Li-Shang and Mulan. Maybe not Cindi and Snow, that love was so fake. (Like, honestly? All the one guy had to do was kiss this dead chick and she was all over him, and Cinderella was chosen out of one million girls because of her beauty. both were chosen because they were hot peices of ass, it had nothing to do with love.) I would watch these movies, and the love that all of them had was so pretty. it gave me this warm feeling. it made me cry. I would listen to the beatles with my parents on our way to vancouver, and they would sing to me. "All You Need is Love!" is what they would chime in my impressionable ears. and i believed it. every word. I still believe it. Love is all you need. but i worry that maybe i will never get that one thing i really want, the one thing that Movies and Songs and Books all tell me is the greatest thing on Earth. The idea of love mystifies me. Its the thing, the one thing in the world that is truly inexpensive. Its something we create from scratch. you dont even need to buy the eggs or the flour to make it. To me, love is the purest thing in the world. It makes me so happy to see others completley immersed in love, but it makes me sad to think that maybe i wont find that. i cannot see myself in the same position. And that hurts!

I used to think that if i gave my body away, love would come quicker. because whats more loving than making love? Now im stuck here. in a horrible Limbo. my libido is telling me one thing, and i hate it. My heart is telling me another, and it makes me cry. i dont want to listen to my brain, because its telling me the truth. and the truth sucks. i refuse to ever listen to it. i know i can change the truth, but do i even want to?
And how can i "Love Myself," when i dont even know which layer of my onion-like soul is the real me?

The laundry machine is noisy, my foot is asleep, and no matter how many times i begin on writing a song about my memiors, i can never finish it without hating myself more.

ode to the baseball woman.

once funtastic is over, i can not wait for you dirty, raunchy baseball women to leave.

Movin' on up!

summer.
How i love thee...i think?
of corse, i am afraid to live on my own in a couple of months.
but im getting there.
i can now successfully drive my little sidekick, AND its a standard.
i go for my N test on the 14th of july.
=]
Also, my parents are paying for my schooling, housing, food AND car.
meaning they are paying for it to get licenced.
WOOOH!

i have a job now, at taco del mar, and i am STOKED.
Weeeee! money!
to my dear friends, i can not wait to spend time with you this summer.
and to men, however many of you there may be... i apologize for my eyes.
they have a mind of their own.
ps. Olivia.
i miss you. call me. =]

I WILL NOT COMPLY, SIR.

Well, here i am.
stuck in yet another limbo.
No, i dont love him. but i did, at one time.
will those feelings come up?
YES. i believe they will.
but Fuck.
im going to get hurt anyways.
so why cant i get hurt with a little bit of sexy fun involved instead of just boring old hurt?
and who knows, maybe we can just be friends with benifits.
i feel sexual tension anyways, why not act on it?
we have our whole lives to act like adults and have relationships and love.
why cant we be sexy, horny, adventureous teenagers NOW, while we are all of those things?
Hurt comes along with love. Thats how it is.
i accept it.
but i want sex with it too.
i want to live in the moment.
im tired of living in the near future.
waiting for him to come home, waiting to be hurt, waiting for a new boy.
WAITING.
is that all that my life has come to?
i want ADVENTURE.
i want to go out and live underneath a waterfall, i want to go meet a horse and become its friend.
i want to build a treehouse, teach someone to bellydance, ride in a fire truck.
dance with fire.
I WANT TO LIVE.
and how can one live if shes stuck in limbo with parents who wont let her go, and an ex-boyfriend who is an awesome person, but an extremely moral one too?
there are times when i feel almost trapped.
trapped in this dumb world.
if only we could live in a world where nudity was accepted, and people acted on instinct, not on BRAIN.
where i could go swim in the lake instead of wading in it, just because some people died a few days ago.
come on.
people can die doing anything.
are we going to put restrictions and padding on everything just so people dont get killed?
i hope not.
No.
im getting dreads, im going skinny-dipping, i'll kiss whomever i damn well choose and i will light as many candles as my room will hold.
the real-estate agents dont like the smell of insence?
well they can kiss my ass.
i will continue to rebel.
i wont fit the norm.
i am nothing like any of you.

To the family.

The walls are closing in on me.
latley i have been feeling like i have receded back into the 5th grade.
parents dogging me at every turn, gving me no space to breathe on my own.
for fuck's sakes, im almost 18!
i want to be alone.
maybe i would want to go get a job if they werent nagging me to do so.
im not reatrded, or a child. i can think on my own.
i know what i have to do, and when i have to do it.
i do nopt need their pushing and guidance.
seriously, its making me so pissed off.
i have no room, no time on my own.
i feel incredibly depressed.
i feel like i will never escape them, like i will never get the opprotunity to be their friends.
i dont WANT to go to college my first year free.
i want to travel, but they tell me i cant.
you cant get dreadlocks, you cant stay at boy's houses.
Yeah, i have sex.
that doesn't mean that im going to have sex with every boy i see!
and come on. if i really wanted to have sex with a boy, do you think i would need a sleepover to do it?
the point of a sleepover is just that.
SLEEP.
Grrrr. and if i dont feel like driving, dont you think that means i dont want to drive right now?
so dont push me. cause its only going to start a fight.
PLUS. just because you have given me the freedom to drink doesnt mean you can take away other freedoms.
im only a bitch because you force me to be this way.
do you really think im like this to my friends?
no.
because they respect me and dont say bitchy things that hurt my feelings, then get pissed off when my feelings get hurt.
if you dont want to start fighting with me, doint start fighting with me! GOD.
is it really that hard to comprehend?
and duh, i have boy problems.
NO, i dont want to talk about it.
YES, i am going to be a whinny girl and cry about it because i feel like it.
That doesnt mean i want you to nose your way in.
although you are my parents, it is NONE of your buisness.
if i wanna talk about something, i will.

PS. mybe if once and a while you would talk to me about money problems, i wouldnt ask for money at the wrong times.
im an adult now, i know there is a recession, STOP KEEPING SECRETS.


PPS. i dont go to family gatherings because i feel that when you are gone that is my only time to be alone, dance and play guitar.
its not because of you, its me.

Oh dear.

boys boys boys.
when it rains, it pours.
and boy-howdy, its raining men.
Hallelujiah?

last night.

Ehhhh...this is so strange.
all of the sudden, when orions coming back, all of this new crazy stuff is happening.
GOD DAMN YOU, HORMONES.
(or should i say.. whore-moans.)
babababa.

i just know not what to do.
sigh...being a girl teenager is hard.
but fun. ;)

Rant

Dear Humans.
i don't know if you realize it, but i dont care what you or anyone else thinks about me.
so what if im a secret hippie?
that i would rather spend my time laying in a field talking about love than at home watching "The Hills."
i dont think you are fully aware of who i am or what i am capable of.
but do not ever get in my way.
i am one who is kind.
i am nice, i am loving.
but do not EVER fuck with me, for i have a load of rage.
and i can be the BITCH OF ALL BITCHES.
or i can be a kindred heart, one who will coddle and love you.
no matter who you have killed.
unless it is my dear, sweet heart, Olivia.
she is my best friend, my sister at soul.
and you fuck with her, you treat her bad...
YOU GET THE BEAST.
you've seen me "kiss or kill",
now forget the kiss part.
by the by...
i have decided that i am done.
it hurts, and i am so in love with how it used to be, but it cant be that way anymore.
life goes on, you know?
i just hope that in the future, i meet people who will respect who i am and what i do.
because without respect, there is no love.
and without love, what the shit are you doing on this earth?

I was feeling extra morbid one day. ~ ARCHIE COMICS, THE TRUE STORY.

So by this point in the game, Jughead would be so enormously fat that he would not be eating at pops anymore, but sitting in his house sleeping and waiting for TLC to do an obesity special on him.

Ethel would realise that Jughead is a lost, fat cause and would become a lesbian.

she has been chasing men (man) for so long, she has finally given up.

Veronica would finally "exclusively" date Archie, but she would cheat on him often because Archie has nothing to offer the spoiled brat. she would be cheating on him with Reggie, because Reggie is hot and shallow. What a couple they would make.

Betty would still be sweet and cute, but her love for Archie borders on obsession. She would get pregnant from Archie, and get sent away to a convent.

Cheryl Blossom dies. Everyone wants to kill her for being such a pretty slut, and she dies from an STD. Go figure.

Reggie also dies, because no one can take that much abuse from a 500 pound muscle man without death becoming a factor. He never loved anyone but himself, so sad.

Midge and Moose have an abuse relationship, but Midge ends it because she is a strong woman who gets by on her own. Moose ends up becoming a football star, but gets kicked out for being on 'Roids. He dies of a drug overdose.

Pop gets old, but he finds a woman when he is 70 named Ma. they had 2 kids (somehow),

Named Jo-Beth and Cleatus.

Josie makes it big doing a solo album, where she writes songs about blow jobs and coke.

Melody drops out of Riverdale high, and goes to a special school for the other retards.

Valerie finds a boyfriend, and they fall in love. They move to Mexico, buy a cat and live happily ever after.

Archie has enough problems as it is, so we wont go into detail with him.

Mr Lodge dies from a heart attack after he catches Veronica and Archie doing it.

Mr Weatherbee finally snaps and becomes known as the "Raunchy Riverdale Rapist."

the other faculty members (Mrs Grundy, Prof.Fluesnoot and that freaky lunch lady) help him out with this.

The Janitor, Mr Svenson, gets deported.

Smithers continues to work for Veronica Lodge.

The Jalopy is still around, but no one drives it because they don't have jobs due to the recession, and gas costs too much.

Things that i have been meaning to blog, but haven't gotten around to.

Alright.
i have a new view on sex.
you know, after all was said and done, and i was suddenly relieved of my sexuality for months, i didn't know how i was going to live.
i was under a "Woe is me, i will not have the ability to live a sexless life," mentality.
but after about 2 months of abstinence, i was fine.
i would have liked to have had it, but i wasn't 6 feet under yet, and it seemed that if i had died, a lack of sex wouldn't have been the cause.
and then all of the sudden, my abstaining had been taken from under my feet.
and you know what?
it was GODAWFUL.
at first i thought it was him.
"Ehhhhh... he was just not good at it."
but now i realize.
it was never sex that i loved (although it is a fun and fulfilling thing)
it was the passion, the lovemaking, the connection that i craved.
so if you ever come up to me, expecting to get something sexual, Fuck off.
i am NOT easy.
i love sex, but i love love WAYYYY more.
and PS. if a woman has fun with sex, that doesn't mean she's an easy target, retards.

And for a second one.
Annie, the Orphan.

Good Job Erica Dolman!
her performance singing-wise was fantastic.
she deffo saved a few songs that "Daddy Warbucks" almost killed.
and her dresses were too pretty.
But here is a note to the VSS budget...
You need to grow.
i love the theatre, but more should be done with it.
i saw plain sets (aside from the spinning background ~ loved it!).
i also saw some pretty unenthusiastic acting.
actors were watching their other castmates half-heartedly because they didn't know when to lift their arms or whatever.
and when they did, i thought they could have been falling asleep.
also, the props were a little lacking.
i would have loved to have seen some more on stage.
Oh and i think they could have done without the dog.
they should have cut the dog scenes. they were awkward.
Especially when the dog checked Annie out and looked up her skirt.
THAT'S RIGHT, I SAW YOU.
but Rockin-Rollen did his best with what he had, Good job, My Stroll.

PEEEEssss.
I love the boy, the star to be.
He won my heart. Never in my life have i heard singing of that magnitude.
=]

Oh Wet. Oh Pretty, Lovely Wet.

When i sit here and read things, and think about who i was,

who i am and who i will be, i weep.

i dont cry for any specific reason, either.

i feel it my nose always first.

like a stinging, that doesn't actually hurt me.

and my chest gets heavy.

my breathing shortens.

i try to hold it back...

but sometimes big crocodile tears still seem to find their way down my cheeks.

im not sad.

i am definetley happy!

the days are long, my friends are great, i know i have the ability to love.

my life is exactly where i wanted it to be at this time... minus and plus a few things.

but sometimes, you just have to cry.

it was nice being in love.

i used to believe that i would never be able to fall in love, because a lot of my friends had already had boyfriends that they held hands with and kissed.

but i hadn't.

i really thought that i was born without that trait, which would have been just dreadful.

now i know that i do have it, maybe i have a little too much of it.

but i have it all the same, and i will always try my hardest to give love to those who need it.

Now that i've had love, i cry with happiness.

i cry because i am so happy that someone in the world wanted to make me love them as strongly as i did. Im so happy because i love that i can actually miss someone so much when they are gone.

I cry with happiness because people care about me, and that feels nice.

when I come to school, and my friends accept me, and surround me with their love, it's so wonderful.

i am so greatful for all of you.

I am so happy that you are my circle of friends, the perfect circle of friends for my current stage in life.

But i also cry tears that are salty with lament.
i feel so strongly for people that do not have those great friendships and loves that i have had.
they dont have a loving family, a "beautiful face", or money to spend anywhere on anything.
you dont have to travel across the world to find these people.
they are the weird ones, the smelly ones we come into contact with every day.
I am upset because i do not feel that we have any right in picking people that deserve to belong.
we can not say who would like to join in, and who wouldn't.
would it not matter the world to them anyways?
to be asked to join in on something that they have every right to be at?
im not saying we should all drop everything and be best friends with these people.
but we should not treat them as if they are a practical joke!
as if they can't feel the hate we give them?
isn't there enough hate in the world; do we really have to add to it?
Im not innocent.
i have done things and said things in my life that i shouldn't have.
but i would love to stop.
it doesn't make me feel like anything more than a snob.
which im not, and i know you aren't either.
we all have to learn, we are no better.

So i cry.

i dont mind, crying makes me feel human.

and being human is all i ever wanted to be.

having human feelings like love and pity are a gift.

Annie.

Im going to see it, and im thinkin' Friday is the best time to go.

join me, Oh lads and lasses?

lets go watch "the ugly one".

To You. Subject? Leave us.

Dear Mr. Something-Or-Other,

It has come to my attention that you are a complete and total LOON.
never before have i met such an incompetent english teacher.
i walked right out of your class under your nose, and got away with it.
did you want to stop me, but chickened out in fear? or did you genuninely miss that 180 my dear companion and i did today?
Whatever the reason was, i was in your class the block before.
so you had no reason to forget about me.
Now i know that your intentions are good.
and intentions are important.
but COME ON.
i missed two whole blocks, and all me did was talk about cake in Valley-Girl accents?
that doesnt even make sense. You fool!
None of your students will respect you if you dont lay the line down and intrigue us into the class.
We did not take English Lit as an elective to be talked at about something else.
and when English Lit lovers REFUSE to go to your class, and take a trip to the mall instead, it is you who needs to do some lesson tweaking.
if i fail the english provincial because of you, i will have your head.
i can not wait until Dolcetti gets back, maybe my drive and focus will return with her.
if you wish for your class to like you, quit trying so hard!
you are runing my love of English!

LAY DOWN THE LAW! ~ I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!

and PS. Forrest Gump is one of my favorites.
and i get insulted when you say shit about things like that.
so take your "harsh opinions" and shove them up your ass.

Monkey voice

I forgot that my father sings like a warbling monkey.

What to do, what to do?

so he comes back in about a month and i have done nothing that i intended to do in order to re-seduce him.

I have
a) Gained weight, not lost it.
b)Not found a new boyfriend to make him jealous with
c) i am still unsuccsessful in my public guitar playing.
d)im still madly infatuated with that mean, hairy hippie.

all i can do is hope that he has changed into the kind of boy that is into fat, dorky, shy girls.
which i highly doubt.
if he dates that...WOMAN...when he comes back, we are starting a gang.
and she is the first to go.
capice?
i feel that is i wasn't still pining after him, i would feel alot happier.
and even though he is ignoring me profusly, its not helping.

A weekend that was enough to kill me.

So i deleted it.
it was a little too much for even me.
but remember my fellow assholes, which means all 5 of us.
they were the size of small plates.
you joked about dinner plates, but it wasn't far off.
IT WASN'T FAR OFF.

by the way.
i used to be so kind and nice, but i guess that was my mistake.
i love being a jerk anyways. =)

Words by Melody.

Okay.
all wonderful people, unite.
Banderophan.
its this new word i just came up with.
its that weird shiver you get sometimes that makes you say or do random crazy bodily movements.
AND.
Sissy-wee.
its when you pee, but just a little bit.
not enough to wet your knickers,
but just a bit so that you feel it and you get nervous.

:)
i just had a sissy-wee, but its okay.
im wearing my big bloomers.

It was just like Thumbalina.

A summary of the best novel ever written.

In Pirates of Desire, the promise of pirate lore kindles the dreams of our strong-willed heroine, Lady Olivia McGinn, as she and her best friend Melody scheme for high seas adventure.
But being captured by the notorious pirate captain, Captain Bigpenis Longandhard., is as fiery and unforgiving as the seas themselves. Longandhard., also known as 'Sea Wolf', is a handsome rogue and Lady Olivia ultimately loses her heart to this rugged pirate.

Okay, so this makes me feel...perverted.

but its still FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY. HAHAHAHA.

They stared at each other for a long while, their eyes saying the words they dared not speak. The air was thick with the potent energy of lovers discovering each other for the first time. Without breaking contact, Captain Bigpenis leaned back on his pillows and held out a strong hand, inviting and welcoming Olivia to his bed. As if in a waking dream, Olivia took his hand and stood beside the bed, her brown eyes never leaving his. Squeezing his hand gently, she let it fall and slowly started to remove her chemise, her body swaying with the sea as it fell away, feeling the cool sea breeze seductively kiss her skin. His heart seemed to beat outside his body as Captain Bigpenis watched her undress in the moonlight. As each piece of cloth fell and he drank in more of her curvaceous, womanly form, he wondered if a man could ever tire of such a sight. Languidly, she removed the remainder of her undergarments and stood beside his bed, fully exposed and vulnerable, but with a quiet strength that caused Captain Bigpenis to hold his breath. Slowly and gracefully, she climbed onto his bed, running her hands across his naked chest, relishing the feel of his muscular form beneath her fingers. Pressing her body into his, . . .

BAHAHAHAHAHA.

Chapter...oh i dont know. jeeze this thing is hard to follow.


. . Olivia walked to the castle window and looked off in the distance to the harbor, brown eyes bright with anticipation. Alfie rose from in front of the fireplace, and giving a big stretch, wandered over to Olivia, eager for an affectionate back-rub. “Come on, tell me every detail,” Melody begged. “And I’ll comb out the tag-alongs and shrubbery from your hair! How on earth did you end up with pieces of bramble bush stuck in that light brown mop of yours and what’s that got to do with pirates?” Alfie turned in circles, giving Olivia a better opportunity to find that special spot to rub, just between the shoulder blades. Chuckling, Olivia turned and pointed to the harbor in the distance. “See that ship at the very end of the docks – the one with no sails; listing badly to one side? Well, that’s it.” “A real pirate ship,” Melody sighed romantically. Olivia glanced toward her bedside table where she kept a folded piece of parchment containing an etching of Captain Bigpenis Longandhard., the famous pirate Sea Wolf, wanted by authorities on two continents. “Yes, a real pirate ship, but not the pirate ship. It’s not the Corazon de Oro,” said Olivia, excitement evident in her voice...

http://www.bookbyyou.com

Chapter one of my novel. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA everyone needs to go to this website.


. . . Olivia slapped the coin from his outstretched hand, sending it flying into the shrubbery. “We don’t want your blood money!” Captain Bigpenis sighed, his eyes narrowing, then he suddenly reached out and grabbed Olivia by her bodice string that, unbeknownst to her, had become untied and hung loosely from her dress. The lace tightened immediately as he pulled her towards him like a dog on a tether. Olivia winced with surprise and embarrassment, her brown eyes ablaze. He leaned close to her, breathing softly in her ear, making Olivia almost lose her balance and certainly some sense. He paused just long enough to catch her off guard in anticipation, when he said, “You might want to keep the girls tied up,” and he tightened the lace and tied a knot. Her face flushed and she slapped him hard on the cheek. Captain Bigpenis grabbed her by her light brown hair and planted a kiss on her lips, long and sensual. When he released his grip, she was reeling, wild eyed as a scurvy dog.
“Take them away!” he ordered with a wave of his hand. The buccaneer escorts grabbed the women’s wrists and roughly pulled them towards the path. Olivia turned her head and caught the captain’s eye. “Now I know why they call you Sea Wolf. I think you are despicable!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. She quickly looked to Melody, a look of terror in her eyes as they were dragged down the pathway. Captain Bigpenis smiled, as he heard his crew laughing from afar; this was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. If circumstances were different, he would have asked her to join him. But he hadn’t even found out her name…

Musicals.

Across The Universe

Aladdin

August Rush

Beauty and the Beast

Cats

Cinderella

Chicago

Enchanted

Fame

Grease

Guys and Dolls

Hair

Hairspray

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Hercules

Hunchback of Notre Dame

Jesus Christ, Superstar

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Leader of the Pack

Lion King

Little Mermaid

Little Shop of Horrors

Mamma Mia!

Mary Poppins

Moulin Rouge

Mulan

Nightmare Before Christmas

O' Brother, Where Art Thou?

Once

Pajama Game

Phantom of the Opera

Pirates of Penzance

The Producers

Queen of the Damned

Robin Hood

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Sound of Music

Spring Awakening

Swan Princess

Sweeney Todd, Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Tenacious D: and the Pick of Destiny

Walk Hard : The Dewey Cox Story

West Side Story

The Wiz

Wicked

Xanadu

Yentl

THE PLAN.

My Plan?

to get a djembe and dreads before the year is out.

wish me luck!

Fo' sho.

Next semester.
BOY OH BOY.
'glish x 2 and acting.
can it get any sexier?

Anger

Me? anger?

You bet your bananas.

I know im a bitch.

its not that big of a deal, but when im angry...hoo.

i wish i wasn't.

ive said things, done things, hit people with stuff, you know the deal.

but the most angry thing thats ever happened to me was with Edwin Cruz.

my first crush.

i was going over to his house to tell him i liked him, and i was greeted by the loving touch of a rake.

i remember that thing swinging above his head.

and man was he crying.

it freaked me right out, i ran away so fast.

and i think we stopped being friends after that.

My sister also has anger issues.

we used to wrestle on my aunt's trampoline, and she won back then.

but now, i could kick her ass.

i think the biggest anger feelings ive ever felt are currently happening.

but its not just anger.

its confusion, love and sexual frusteration all aimed at him.

i just wish he could be here so i could tell him exactly how i feel.

AUGH.

he just makes me so angry!

-Melody.

Lust

Oh, here's one of them that completely umbrellas my life.

I can't go to the store and pick out a new hat without thinking of sex.

I see a young boy and BAM. Immediately my libido is on the prowl.

people would be surprised to see the numerous amount of sex books I have,

Telling everyone about my fantasies, dreams, and thoughts about certain people.

most would describe me as a pervert.

but i think of it as a gift.

I mean, now my lovers and I can meet up it the bedroom when it comes to sex and desire.

maybe i was just born with too much testosterone.

but i can guarantee you that this didn't all just come up after my first sexual experience.

Oh no.

Man, when i was a kid, i used to make the barbies have sex, and i would get totally off on it.

and my ken that had a pseudo-wang would always get blow jobs.

but i didn't really understand back then.

I sure do now.

In the future, i plan on trying a few things out.

just to broaden my sexual horizon.

Maybe ill take up pole dancing. be a stripper for a day.

A CLEAN one.

Sex with any number of races of men, on many different continents in many different places.

Does this make me a slut?

Probably.

But i like to think of it as "Sexually Adventurous."

So what if i enjoy sex?

is it a crime?

well, I guess it is if he's older than 18.

But in half a year, i'm gonna be 18.

and then, the world is my oyster.

Love, Melody.

To The Fabulous Miss Olivia-Jayne.

Oh missus.

When you have a friend that you have numerous names for, you know she's special.

Bunny Martini, Tena, Captain.

And each has a special story behind it.

i'm sure there is so much ahead of us.

Oh captain, my captain.

you are a joy to be around.

i've never met someone so much like me.

We've spent nights killing ourselves on the kitchen floor, laughing about jerking off into cooking mitts and singing our favorite,ugly little tune.

Oh Rattigan, Oh Rattigan.

I love you.

our movie nights are to die for.

Even I envy us.

i love how we can be totally honest about anything and tell each other everything.

you are my best friend, dear bunny.

OJM, never change.

i absolutely ADORE you.

and never forget.

Leaverman or Elmont.

The opportunity is still out there.

Love always, Carlyle. Your first mate.

Waiting.

Wouldn't it be nice if it were summer?

instead of email, i'd wait for the phone.

And wouldn't it be nice if he were better?

didn't make me cry the whole night long.

I only wish that he were whining.

that only he instead of I, were pining.

Oh wouldn't it be nice.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could tell him,

all the silly things i'd love to say.

He'd accept it all and say he loved me,

instead of just ignore and turn away.

He used to kiss me with all his devotion.

i felt a flutter, i felt all emotion.

Oh wouldn't it be nice.

Maybe if i hope with all my might and wish upon the moon.

and maybe if I lie alone in bed and wait, he'll come home soon.

Oh, I miss him dearly,

I'd love for him near me....

Wouldn't it be nice.

you know, the more that my mind doesn't want it.

It only makes my heart decide to flaunt it.

but I SO do want it.

Oh wouldnt it be nice!