To the family.

The walls are closing in on me.
latley i have been feeling like i have receded back into the 5th grade.
parents dogging me at every turn, gving me no space to breathe on my own.
for fuck's sakes, im almost 18!
i want to be alone.
maybe i would want to go get a job if they werent nagging me to do so.
im not reatrded, or a child. i can think on my own.
i know what i have to do, and when i have to do it.
i do nopt need their pushing and guidance.
seriously, its making me so pissed off.
i have no room, no time on my own.
i feel incredibly depressed.
i feel like i will never escape them, like i will never get the opprotunity to be their friends.
i dont WANT to go to college my first year free.
i want to travel, but they tell me i cant.
you cant get dreadlocks, you cant stay at boy's houses.
Yeah, i have sex.
that doesn't mean that im going to have sex with every boy i see!
and come on. if i really wanted to have sex with a boy, do you think i would need a sleepover to do it?
the point of a sleepover is just that.
SLEEP.
Grrrr. and if i dont feel like driving, dont you think that means i dont want to drive right now?
so dont push me. cause its only going to start a fight.
PLUS. just because you have given me the freedom to drink doesnt mean you can take away other freedoms.
im only a bitch because you force me to be this way.
do you really think im like this to my friends?
no.
because they respect me and dont say bitchy things that hurt my feelings, then get pissed off when my feelings get hurt.
if you dont want to start fighting with me, doint start fighting with me! GOD.
is it really that hard to comprehend?
and duh, i have boy problems.
NO, i dont want to talk about it.
YES, i am going to be a whinny girl and cry about it because i feel like it.
That doesnt mean i want you to nose your way in.
although you are my parents, it is NONE of your buisness.
if i wanna talk about something, i will.

PS. mybe if once and a while you would talk to me about money problems, i wouldnt ask for money at the wrong times.
im an adult now, i know there is a recession, STOP KEEPING SECRETS.


PPS. i dont go to family gatherings because i feel that when you are gone that is my only time to be alone, dance and play guitar.
its not because of you, its me.